Monday, March 7, 2011

Desperately Seeking Advice

Can I be real with you guys for a minute? Please don't judge me for what I'm about to say. My six year old is a brat. I'm talking a brat with a capital "B".
Yes, this beautiful little girl is who I am talking about. She defines brat: selfish, thinks she is the best at everything, thinks only of herself, back talking, eye rolling, whining, hitting, screaming. Look it up in the dictionary and you might very well find her photo. We need an intervention. We need Nanny 911 and quick! I love her with every piece of my being, but sometimes she makes it very difficult to like being around her. My question is this: how did she get this way?! I would like to think she doesn't see this behavior anywhere. She isn't in public school, so she doesn't have that influence. Her sister acts nothing like this. Where have we gone wrong? She gets punished when she exhibits these behaviors, but yet she continues to do them. Seriously, this morning she spent over an hour and a half in time out. That's how long it took for her to decide to lose the attitude. I'm sure it will surface again at some point today though. It always does, and she'll go right back to time out. We've taken away privileges. What else can we do? How can we instill a kind heart within her? How can we change her mindset of thinking she is entitled to everything? Please as you read this, share any and all advice. I've been real with you, now in turn please be real with me. Don't censor your thoughts, tell me exactly what you're thinking.


  1. That is a tough one. I wish I could give you more answers or a quick solution of some kind. Unfortunately the only advise I have on a way to fix it will take some time. It might be just a phase that will pass in time. I could be wrong, but I think that as long as you stay consistent with the punishment eventually she may "grow out of it" or correct her behavior. Another thought I had was maybe just sitting down with her and telling her how it makes you feel when she behaves that way, or how others feel.

  2. Thanks Beth! I'm trying really hard to stay consistent. That has been an issue previously which I'm sure didn't help the situation at all. I will also sit down with her and have a heart to heart and try to figure out the real motives here. Thanks so much for replying.

  3. We went through this BIG TIME with Annagrace at about that age--actually a little younger. I finally determined that she was picking this stuff up....from Disney! Yes, seriously. She was picking up the back talking, foot stomping, and eye rolling from watching various shows on the Disney channel. Sounds crazy but I finally realized it when she started telling me that she wanted to be "fabulous, not cute". She got very picky about her clothes and wanted to dress like a teenager.

    I cut her off from That's So Raven, Wizards of Waverly Place, Hannah Montana, etc and believe it or not....the attitude improved. I don't know how much tv, if any, you allow in your house but as crazy as it sounds it could be part of the problem.

    And yes, I too think like Beth said in that 6 years old is a tough age. I remember asking my cousin who is a child psychologist if Annagrace could possibly be hormonal when she was around that same age. She actually said that there could be something to that theory. Of course we don't want to think about it but girls are going through puberty younger and younger and 6 is not that far off from 9--which is when some girls start their periods now! So there could be something to that too.

    I hope this phase will end soon! I'll be praying for you! :)

  4. Thank you Laura! It helps to know someone else has been there (and has lived to tell about it :) ) I agree with you 100& about the tv thing. My girls don't watch the disney channel teen shows, but do watch the Nickelodeon ones. We banned I Carly a couple months ago because the language and attitude on that show is horrible, but I think we may just need to ban all of the teen shows all together.

    Hormones could be playing a party too I guess. I don't want to think about it, but it could be. I think kids also have "down" days just like we do and maybe today was one of those for her, but I am trying to get her to channel the feelings in positive ways.

    Thanks for the prayers. I think I've been in a continual conversation with God all day. It finally all came to an end about an hour ago with Shaylie and I both sitting on her bed crying our eyes out and begging God to help us through this. Oh my. Parenting is tough.

  5. I know you said she goes to time out for the behaviors, but when she is in time out is she receiving attention (good, bad, neutral) from you or a sibling even? If so, you might want to move her time out space away from where you are. The more attention she receives for the behavior the more likely she is to repeat it.
    Also like others said being consistent is key.
    Saying a prayer for you.

  6. Thank you Katie. Yes, she is still receiving attention when in time out. Sometimes bad, sometimes're right that could be a problem. We will have to change this.

  7. Two things that have helped me. 1) James Dobsons book Entitled “Dare to Discipline” and a website (based on a book by a homeschooling mother of 10, and you can read the entire book there for free) called “Raising Godly Tomatoes.”

    Both of these have been great resources for me : ) Bless ya’ sweetie!

  8. Good luck! I hope things get easier for you both.

  9. Thanks Jammerill! You are the second person who has mentioned Raising Godly Tomatoes for me. Looks like God is telling me that's where I need to go. Will definitely look into it today!